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  The ultimate in silly chess computers
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   Author  Topic: The ultimate in silly chess computers  (Read 1335 times)
Mike Watters
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Another day, another blunder.

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Re:The ultimate in silly chess computers
« on: December 14, 2008, 03:24PM »
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Tom

The model name according to the website is the Palmtop Touch LCD International Chess Game - Champagne. So you could fairly say it has five names. But for the Overtom Museum I think that it could be known, a little ironically, as the Champagne.

My prediction for 2009 is that Tom will find an even worse chess computer. 

All the best
Mike
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Re:The ultimate in silly chess computers
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2008, 11:05AM »
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Hi Marko,

Quote from: marko on December 13, 2008, 09:04AM   

Tom,

Thanks for the information. You should post a review on the seller's web site to warn others. The web site states, "The chess is strong enough to beat over 99% of all players on its top level." What ever happened to truth in advertising?

Best regards,
Marko

I suppose they not only imitate Excalibur's box, but also their advertisements. Excalibur's Touch Chess is a very pleasant chess computer to carry along.

This nameless imitation can without any exaggeration be called moronic, brainless, stupid, dumb, asinine, unintelligent, thick, imbecile, cretinous, idiotic, mindless, senseless or daft.

Still I think a warning seems not necessary: 14 dollars is not an amount to feel cheated about. Worse are computers like the one mentioned in this weblog, where I paid fifty Euros and received nothing!! So beware of so-called trusted sites!!

Best regards,

tom

« Last Edit: December 13, 2008, 02:28PM by Overtom » Report to moderator Logged
marko
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Re:The ultimate in silly chess computers
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2008, 09:04AM »
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Tom,

Thanks for the information. You should post a review on the seller's web site to warn others. The web site states, "The chess is strong enough to beat over 99% of all players on its top level." What ever happened to truth in advertising?

Best regards,
Marko
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The ultimate in silly chess computers
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2008, 06:44AM »
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Surfing the Internet I came across this page. The chess computer offered looked suspiciously much like Excalibur's Touch Chess and Novag's Touch.

As it was a computer the Overtom museum did not yet have, I ordered it, and this morning the postman delivered the parcel to my front door. The whole transaction had cost me 14 dollars (13.99, to be exact), which included shipping. Not really an amount to cause bankruptcy, not even in times when the credit crunch is increasingly being felt.

The first surprise was the fact that the computer did not work. Whatever buttons I pressed or parts of the screen that I touched, it failed to produce anything that looked like chess. I measured the batteries, which were OK. But after bending and cleaning the battery clamps, the machine started to display some kind of activity, but it's up to you to decide whether this can really be called chess.

The second surprise came when I tried to find the name of the computer. The caption on the box was Touch Chess, the manual called it e-Chess Express, the name on the front of the computer was LCD Chess on its back I found the name LCD Chess Express. Since the museum already had computers with all these names, I decided to stress the fact that it had so many names by dubbing it Hybrid Chess.

By the way, the box looks so much like the one which houses Excalibur Touch Chess that only a blind person can seriously deny the similarity



You may wonder how this contraption played. Well, it played four games against Fritz-one-ply:
  • In game 1 it lost its queen on the 14th move and was checkmated on move 22.
  • In game 2 it was checkmated within 10 moves.
  • In game 3 it took somewhat longer, in fact it was checkmated on move 15. Apart from one knight, it had all its chessmen still on the eighth rank
  • In the 4th game it was luckier: it held out until the 29th move. But then it was slain by Fritz, who was a pawn, a bishop, a knight, two rooks and a queen ahead.


I think this computer may be the ultimate candidate for the weakest chess computer ever! If you have Java installed on your computer, you may click here to see the games.

Finally, if you're happen to have a nephew with an IQ of 50 or less, this may be the ideal Xmas present to give him

With early merry Xmas regards,

tom
« Last Edit: December 13, 2008, 07:11AM by Overtom » Report to moderator Logged
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